A freak old lady - story

CONFIRMED: intelligence does come with old age.


An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.



Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.



Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Story of an old man

An old man woke up early in order to pray the Fajr prayer in the masjid. He got dressed, made his ablution and was on his way to the masjid. On his way to the masjid, the man fell and his clothes got dirty. He got up, brushed himself off, and headed home. At home, he changed his clothes, made his ablution, and was, again, on his way to the masjid.

On his way to the masjid, he fell again and at the same spot! He, again, got up, brushed himslef off and headed home. At home he, once again, changed his clothes, made his ablution and was on his way to the masjid.

On his way to the masjid, he met a man holding a lamp. He asked the man of his identity and the man replied "I saw you fall twice on your way to the masjid, so I brought a lamp so I can light your way." The first man thanked him and the two were on their way to the masjid.

Once at the masjid, the first man asked the man with the lamp to come in and pray Fajr with him. The second man refused. The first man asked him a couple more times and, again, the answer was the same. The first man asked him why he did not wish to come in and pray. The man replied "I am Satan." The man was shocked at this reply. Shaitan went on to explain,

"I saw you on your way to the masjid and it was I who made you fall. When you went home, cleaned yourself and went back on your way to the masjid, Allah forgave all of your sins. I made you fall a second time, and even that did not encourage you to stay home, but rather, you went back on your way to the masjid. Because of that, Allah forgave all the sins of the people of your household. I was afraid if i made you fall one more time, then Allah will forgive the sins of the people of your village, so I made sure that you reached the masjid safely."

So do not let Satan benefit from his actions. Do not put off a good that you intended to do as you never know how much reward you might receive from the hardships you encounter while trying to achieve that good. If forwarding this message will bother you, or take too much time from you, then don't do imagine, that when you forward this, you receive 240 good deeds (and Allah knows best!),and so will I for sending it to you! Wouldn't it be easy just to press "Forward" and receive this reward?

Please try to circulate this message to your friends /colleagues & family members for the sake of Allah.

Malayalam Proverbs

Market fail Mother's back.
(Angaadiyil thottathinu Ammayude purathu)

Silent Cat Breaks Pot.
(Mindaa Poocha Kalam Udakkum)

Sand leaning man girl tookwent.
(Mannum Chaari Ninnavan Pennum Kondupoyi)

Life licked by stray dog.
(Jeevitham nayanakki)

Whitening applied becomes white scars.
(Velukkan thechathu pandayi)

Give elephant, but not hope.
(Aana koduthalum aasha kodukaruthu)

If Crow bath, become crane ??
(Kaaka kulichal kokku aagumo??)

If needed jackfruit on root grow.
(Venamengil chakka verilum kaayikkum)

Snake on fence on shoulder no put.
(Veliyil kidanna paambine eduthu tholil idaruthu)

Onam come or Baby born, porridge for KORAN still in leaf.
(Onam vannaalum Unni pirannaalum, Koranu Kanji Kumbilil thanne)

Own baby, for crow, golden baby.
(Kaakkakku Than Kunju Ponkunju)

Foot wrong elephant will also fall.
(Adi thettiyaal aaneyum veezhum)

Friend of Eeenaampechi is TreeDog.
(Eenaampechi kootu marappatti)

Letter of the Afghanistan soldier

A soldier in afghanistan received a letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as follows:


Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
just too great. I'm sorry.

Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky





The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends.

In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other
pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57
photos in that envelope along with this note:


Dear Becky,

I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are.

Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

Take Care,
Ricky





Moral Of Story:


If u cant change ur fate, change ur attitude

5 Shocking Facts of d World....... .......

5 Shocking Facts of d World....... .......

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Fact 1: You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue;

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Fact 2: After reading the first fact, all fools try it. hahahahahh:)

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Fact 3: Fact1 is false Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.......... ........


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Fact 4: Now u are laughing !!! bcoz u became a fool !!!

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Fact 5: you want to fool ur friends also.. so u will forward this soon

A Problem--> story

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.
One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally the other man
said: "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation. A few
years ago I met a young widow with a grown up daughter. We got married
and I got myself a step-daughter. Later, my father married my
step-daughter. That made my step daughter my step-mother. And my father
became my step-son. Also my wife became mother-in-law of her
father-in-law. Much later the daughter of my wife, my step-mother, had a
son. This boy was my half brother because he was my father's son. But he
was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's
grand-son. That made me the grandfather of my half brother. This was
nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half sister of my son, my
step-mother, is also his grandmother. This makes my father the
brother-in-law of my child, whose step-sister is my father's wife. I am my
step-mother' s brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is
my father's nephew and I am my OWN GRAND FATHER!!!!!! !!!! And you think
you have FAMILY PROBLEMS